...because really, I am amazed at what I used to write for omakes in my Pokemon fanfiction. Just for the lulz, here's one that really cracked me up.

WARNING : IF YOU DISLIKE PEANUT BUTTER, PLEASE DO NOT READ WHAT GOES UNDER THE CUT. THANK YOU AND HAVE A NICE DAY.

Grand Battle! Peanut Butter V.S Cheesecake!
[I would love to say I'm joking but no.]


As one would very well know, peanut butter has always been a favorite among children for its rich creamy taste yet crunchy with the bits of peanuts embedded within. Cheesecake too has been another favorite, with its cheesy taste and wondrous fragrance. But who is the real winner among the two? Our dear and wonderful readers, that is what I, the mysterious and enigmatic Knightblazer, shall find out today…

Peanut Butter – or called ‘PB’ for short- was trotting down the kitchen counter one day when his eternal rival – the cheesecake – stopped in his path, his cheesy yellow brows knitted into a delicious looking frown which would have made children water in their mouths.

“PB!” exclaimed the yellow cake; “I challenge you to a battle! Today shall be the day where I emerge victorious!”

The jar yawned, its creamy brown texture moist with peanut saliva and eh… moisture. “Need I remind you that the current standing is 1,763 to 13?” he remarked casually, the navy blue cap jiggling a little as he did so.

The cheesecake shrunk back a bit, but quickly recovered from the remark and shouted back, “Today shall be the final battle! If I lose, then you shall be the eternal favorite amongst children! Likewise, if I win, then I’LL be the ETERNAL FAVORITE!” he declared.

Peanut Butter tried his hardest to stifle a yawn as he nodded. “Alright… alright…” agreed the jar nonchalantly, “I’m bored, anyway…”

“ALRIGHT!” yelled the cake, “THEN LET THE ULTIMATE BATTLE BEGIN!”

With a sudden poof, the two found themselves standing in a wrestling ring, with a troupe of peanuts and several jars in all shapes and sizes with colorful caps at the right side of the stage. On the other side were… well… cheesecakes, ranging from crumbs, slices and even a perfectly whole cake (how that managed to squeeze in and got there, no one knew). Both sides had several banners and signs with big, bold, colorful text. The slogans ranged from lines like “PB FOREVER!” or “PH3R THE CHEESECAKE!” or even “PEANTUT > CHEESE” (or the other way round). There was even a sign that said, “GEER TEDS – TEH SCRUMPTIOUS GEER IN FORUMS, WEBSITES AND SOME SAY WWW!” But with a loud bash and crash, the sign quickly disappeared.

A jar of pepper appeared on the commentator’s table. Those who were unfortunately near the shaker covered their noses just in time before the hyperactive item started to bellow.

“Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome! Welcome, Ladies and Gentlemen; Welcome to the… BATTLE OF DELI-CAI-CIEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!”

The audience was silent. Someone in the crowd shouted, “You got ‘delicacies’ wrong, fool!”

Pepper sweatdropped as it shrugged, bits of the black stuff flying out from its cap as it did so. The unfortunate souls beside it burst into sneezing fits as they caught a sniff of the item.

“On the left, we have the ever-cheesy, ever-delicious, ever-appetizing… CHEEZEHCAKEEEEEEEEE!!!”

The crowd on the left screamed in roared as light shone down upon the yellow cake, the holes on its body gathering out some ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs’ from his adoring fans. However, one of the spectators from the opposing side called out, “Oy! You a sponge or something?” That gained roars of laughter from the PB supporters.

“Now, now, fellow kitchenware,” said the jar of pepper, “’tis just a fellow battle. And now, the winner of 1,763 battles –and soon to be 1,174, I might add- the great, the awesome, the AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGG PPPPPPPBBBBBBBBBBBBB!!!!!”

Another wave of screams and roaring came through, this time from the supporters of Peanut Butter. The others booed and jeered as the jar walked to the center. With a loud splat, a mesh of whipped cream was thrown towards him, a trail of white foam dripping as the item dropped to the floor.

Cheesecake grinned when he saw the spot of cream. “Heh, looks like I’m gonna win this time.”

The jar smirked as he said, “We shall see.”

Pepper motioned towards the audience to be silent as it cleared its throat.

“Today, the best shall collide and crumbs will fly as they vie for top spot of favorites! There are no rules, so let the Battle of PB and CC BEGINNNNNNNN!!!”

A metal spoon then whistled through the air from out of nowhere, flying past the spectators before ending with a loud crash when it hit a glass jar, causing it to fall one meter from the ground.

The two leapt at each other.

The battle had begun!

Over the din, the pepper jar continued to roar out a commentary.

“Ooh, looks like this is a grand battle to behold! PB has Cheese caught in a headlock, but the cake simply squeezes himself outta there! Now he’s about to climb the corner… and he leaps… and OW! Looks like he never understood the rules of mass, gravity and Newton's Laws, folks!”

Cheesecake, was, in fact, lying on the floor, his face pained as a huge circular impression was visible on his center. Peanut Butter smirked as he leapt up… and began plummeting down at great speeds. All forms of yellow on the cake vanished as the jar landed square on the squishy cake.

“Looks like PB got the best of CC this time! Looks like victory goes to… but wait, what’s this? Looks like Cheese has squeezed himself out again! The cake now has PB in his wrap!”

Peanut Butter tried not to grin at the cake, who had wrapped itself around the jar. “Look like I win,” he said yet again.

A smirk crossed the navy-capped jar again as he replied, “Nope.” Saying that, the jar opened his cap and sent a wad of Peanut Butter splattered onto Cheesecake’s face. Stunned, the cake momentarily released his hold onto the jar. PB immediately took his chance. Dousing the sticky substance all over the cake, the jar shoved the cake onto the floor. Cheesecake’s face paled yet again as he found himself stuck onto the ring… by his nemesis. Literally.

Now a lot lighter, Peanut Butter leaped into the air once again and slammed hard against the cheesecake, making him spit out several cake crumbs, bits of eggshells and strangely, a whole peanut. The jar sent a final slam onto the cake, the poor yellow thing close to fainting. But the jar wasn’t finished yet. Picking up his lid, Peanut Butter slammed the floor so hard that it sent Cheesecake flying into the air. With a smirk, the transparent jar leaped into the air.

“PEA!” he shouted, the opening crushing hard against the cake, causing it to continue ascending into the air.

“NUT!” Another yell, as he flipped above and whammed hard against the end of the yellow cake. Another wave of crumbs spewed out from the cheesecake.

“BUT!” With that exclamation, Peanut Butter twisted in mid-air and whacked the other end of the cake, causing him to howl in agony.

“TER!” A roar came out from the jar, as he slammed hard against the center of the yellow cake, sending him plummeting down towards the arena.

“JAR COMBO!” And with that final cry, PB slammed himself hard against Cheesecake, the force bringing them both down with a huge crash onto the floor with bits of rubble and fragments flying about. When the space cleared, the cake was visibly seen fainted, while the jar got up, his landing cushioned by his nemesis.

“AND WE HAVE IT, FOLKS!” yelled the pepper jar, “WITH HIS ALL FAMOUS ‘PEANUT BUTTER JAR COMBO’, LOOKS LIKE PB’S GOT HIS 1,846th WIN!!!!!!”

The crowd roared as the jar walked and took the peanut. “I was wondering where it went too,” he said calmly with a smirk as he tossed the item in question into his open top and walked out of the arena, leaving the poor cake in a mess of crumbs, sticky Peanut Butter and a flat bottom.

“I hate Peanut Butter…” was all that the cake muttered before the ketchup paramedics came and took him away.


...yes, I really have to wonder. But it was an entertaining read nevertheless. 8D;;; Wonder if I can find anymore in this laptop... might put them up here as well if they're funny enough LMAO.

AND OH YEAH. MOM'S CURRENTLY AWAY IN MALAYSIA FOR IDK WHAT REASON BUT W/E. THIS MEANS ALL-NIGHT WITH THE LAPTOP AND NOBODY'S GUNNA STOP MEEEEEHHHHH~